Books, Film & TV Tuesday, July 31st

How to chat to Jack From Love Island at his Play 'Meet + Greet'

Books, Film & TV Tuesday, July 31st

How to chat to Jack From Love Island at his Play 'Meet + Greet'

On Thursday August 23, 2018, the Nation’s Sweetheart’s Sweetheart – Love Island’s Jack Fincham – is coming to Play nightclub in Hereford, possibly because he’s got a sales call at Smiths that afternoon.

On the eight-week Boohoo advert that is Love Island, it was unashamedly heartwarming to see this plucky Essex pen salesman - the only guy producers suggested ‘maybe wear a t-shirt mate’ for his villa entrance – crack on, get rebuffed, and then win around the irrepressively, and inexplicably charming daughter of Football Factory star Danny Dyer.

 

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Their whirlwind romance felt as real as anything can do in heavily-edited one-hour episodes, and last night the pair split the £50k prize money and walked off in to the sunset.

Except they haven’t, and you’ll likely see them all over This Morning for the next six months, at which point they’ll get their own reality show on ITV4 where Jack drives around in his Audi flogging pens and eating lunch at Nando’s and Danny tries to make it as a presenter. Hence the promo tour that includes stops like this, in Hereford, on a Thursday night.

Advanced tickets are just £1, with “VK galore”. But for £7, you can get a ‘Meet & Greet’ pass. For those lucky few, here are eight tips to help you get the most out of an interaction that could (will) result in a lifelong friendship.

 

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1.

If you wish to break the ice with a compliment, mention that you think he is ‘a peng sort’, or alternatively mention, tastefully, that his girlfriend is ‘a sort’.

Among the highest terms of respect one can pay to an Essexperson (and one he himself bestowed upon Dr Alex), if Jack returns the compliment, referring to you as ‘a sort’ or even ‘a right sort’, you may move the friendship forward. The appropriate next step would be to invite the pair to a couples tanning session.

2.

Famed for his mastery of Northern accents, you can impress Jack by affecting a broad Yorkshire twang and discussing the hunting habits of Mallorcan birdlife and/or plumbing.

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3.

If you get in to conversation about your likes and/or dislikes, refer only to them with the qualifier ‘on paper’. Eg. ‘What are you drinking? Oh nice. Yeh vodka Red Bulls are my drink too, on paper.” A classic Love Island-ism, it will show that you are fluent in ITV2, and will also subliminally ingratiate yourself with the stationery salesman.

4.

Ask him three to four times every minute, where “his head’s at”.

5.

Conversely when he finishes sentences with the question ‘doyounaawatImean?’, do not answer. Jack is not in fact asking you if you know what he means. If you respond with anything other than a nod or - at most - a vacant ‘yeh, babes’, you will come across as ‘a melt’.

6.

Do not – NO NOT – mention his Danny Dyer poster.

Jack, cheeky chappie Jack, was pretty much unflappable during his time in the villa. Even when the producers threw his ex in to the villa, he basically took it in his stride, smiled those pearly whites and carried on with the easy, almost-naïve self-confidence that must come from being successful pen salesman in a world where office stationery cupboards are, at best, two years from going the way of Teletext.

That said, one moment did prompt the appearance of disco rings under the arms of his otherwise spotless Boohoo.com tee. When said ex came face-to-face with his future wife, and inevitably ‘pulled her [aside] [for a chat]’, she let it slip that Jack had a ‘shrine’ to Ms Dyer’s celebrity dad on his bedroom wall.

Apparently it was all a misunderstanding. The décor in question was a piece of art, Jack would explain. It was in fact some elaborate Essex version Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam, featuring a shirtless Ray Winstone in the God role, and Danny Dyer as the first among Men. Or something like that. Despite this, and Dyer jnr’s laughs, it did lead to a solid five minutes of flushed cheeks and audible muttering that things being ‘aaat of order’ and ‘mugged off’.

In short, Jack seems like a very happy person, who lives a very happy life. Do not ask him what he’s done with the poster.

 

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7.

If at any point in your interaction, Jack checks his phone or so much as touches his pocket, you are legally required to shout, at the top of your lungs, “GOTATEEEEEXT.” You will be the first person to have ever done this to him, and consequently he will find it hilarious.

8.

And finally, never challenge the man to a buggee race. Jack don’t play around.

 

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For more info on Jack Fincham’s appearance at Play, visit the event's Facebook page here - and to keep up to date on Jack, follow him on Insta.

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