Hot Lists Tuesday, January 24th Words by: Adam Knight

Talking Trump: 'Alternative Facts' for Herefordshire

Hot Lists Tuesday, January 24th

Talking Trump: 'Alternative Facts' for Herefordshire

‘Alternative Facts’ have taken over. They are so much more flexible and interesting than outdated concepts like science, or seeing-things-with-your-own-eyes. It’s time to embrace them.

So to that end, here are some #AlternativeFacts about Herefordshire. Period.

(If you do insist on real facts, you probably should check out The Little Book of Herefordshire by David J Vaughan. It’s heavy on quirk and infamy, and essential reading for locals and pub quizzers alike.)


1. “The 2016 May Fair drew the largest audience ever to enjoy a theme park. Period.”


2. “We need to build a wall on the border. A great, great wall. And the Welsh are going to pay for it.”


3. “People are calling Nozstock a phenomena. A phenomena. People say this. They’re calling it not just one of the best festival’s of all time, but more importantly, one of the greatest political movements of all time.”


4. “I’m going to buy St Andrew’s Church [just south of Hereford] and I’m going to put my name on it in big letters. Right on the front. And I’m going to paint it gold. Trust me, no-one knows more about painting churches gold than me. Trust me. I’m going to Make Allensmore Great Again.”


5. “Donald J Trump is calling for the complete and total shutdown of all Somerset cider apples entering Herefordshire until our county’s representatives can figure out what the hell is going on."

6. “Ronnie Radford’s fantastic. He’s a fantastic guy. Ronnie’s a friend. And I would say without doubt that England’s proudest sporting moment, as a nation, was when he scored the winning goal at the Soccer World Championships and lifted the cup for England.”


7. “An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that the Mappa Mundi is a fraud. It is in fact a tablecloth. I know a lot about tablecloths. Fantastic tablecloths. And this is not even a good tablecloth.”

8. “The problem with Hereford traffic? It’s a crooked system. That’s what the mainstream media won’t tell you. Too many corners.”



The 'original' Nozstock image was taken by Gareth Dalley, who - along with a host of others - took a bucketload of great shots of the Bromyard festival. Check them out here.

NB: these alternative Herefordshire facts are obviously a joke. We are jokers. Period.

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